Finding Unity Through Inequality

80480ef40b8400f66535dfa84e67b296We like to pretend in this day and age that -isms no longer exist. According to today’s society concepts like racism and sexism have been eradicated and we now live in a blissful world where we all love each other equally. And unicorn farts are the cure to cancer. The reality is that our prejudices never left they are just hidden now under better wrapping. Anyone who errs from the silent code of keeping your real feelings secret is publicly chastised and rightfully so. But it doesn’t take away from the fact that not much has really changed in the last 50 years. It just became uncool to be blatant about it.

If a billionaire and household name like Oprah Winfrey can experience racism I’m pretty sure anyone can

Being of northern European heritage, whose ancestors have been lived in the U.S. for generations, I have had little cause to experience racism. And of course I am equal parts grateful and guilty about it. But sexism is something that unfortunately, even in 2013 I am very familiar with. Everything from auto mechanics speaking through me, spoken to as a child in matters such as technology and sports, to being overlooked and less compensated in the work place.

I was one of those who for a long time pretended that things were different and in a lot of positive ways they are.  But at the end of the day the fact still remains that it is in human nature to be prejudiced. Subconsciously or not it is a part of our basest nature to feel best when we are putting others down. We believe for some reason that we can not all succeed at once.  And it’s sad because at the root all -isms are based on nothing more than insecurity and the desire to be liked.

53b4e8acced9691f4205a5c49366e717On some level we believe that for one group to rise another must be put aside and made to feel inferior

Every time I get lover looked at work; judged solely on my looks; not taken seriously; expected to cook, clean, mother, sew; or given shit for being strong, it hurts.  Knowing the reason behind the negativity doesn’t make the sting lessen. All I know in that burning hot second is that its unfair and that I am angry. In that anger however is the lesson. In that moment I am connected to everyone who has ever felt discriminated against. Anyone that has been made to feel less based on an external factor. And in that connection there is peace and understanding. It makes me want to look over my own prejudices and preconceptions. Look past my own demons and not cast them on to the next person. It is a surprisingly freeing and enlightening experience.

So no I am not making a call to arms for everyone to start spewing negativity at each other but I do hope for more honesty and more understanding. Maybe a little out of the closet honesty can clear the air of all that lies unsaid. “Let discrimination bind us rather than split us a part and maybe one day the affectation of equality will become reality.”Click to Tweet

The Freedom To Say Fuck Off

94c4951a1a90bf9e4879937297624914I currently have an overwhelming desire to shed all adult responsibilities and hop a train into the city like I did when I was kid. Only this time around I want to be a bad ass. I don’t want to be insular or annoyingly analytical, obnoxiously cautious and wearing a wardrobe my mom picked out for me. I want to say fuck it. Snort a line, off my hand or something equally classy, walk the streets with no destination and end up wherever the night takes me, hoping for the best. How immature right? People over 30 aren’t supposed to party like assholes. That’s an unwritten law no? I am supposed to be wearing separates and getting wet from picking out wedding china. I shouldn’t be wasting my money on booze and music. I should be saving for a mortgage and babies. #douchechills

But really what’s the point of being an adult if you can’t do the shit you want? We spend so much fucking time as kids yearning for the freedom of adulthood. Then one day you wake up and your 30 and everyone wants a little piece of your soul. Birthdays, weddings, engagements, house warmings, etc. I mean its better than the little kids birthdays, graduations and the sweet 16s that will follow. And a billion years better than the retirement parties, golden anniversaries and funerals that ultimately round out the litany of societal responsibilities.

It’s a weird thine06603d5233bfa55b3d59e1aa6e1c4a6g to complain about. Ohh woe is me, people like me and want me there to celebrate their milestones. Talk about first world problems. But a lot of times it  ends up feeling monotonous and even disingenuous. The hard truth is that you got to be picky. You have to pick and choose what you do and somehow remember to make time for yourself. So the moral of the story is Fuck It. Give it the finger, storm off and don’t look back. Everyone deserves their punk rock moment now and again.

I am not saying this is a prescription for all of life’s ills. Clearly its not. But once in a while you got to let it all hang loose, otherwise you will implode.  Cause after all I’m an adult and make my own money. I am not hurting anyone and no one is giving me a curfew. I don’t have to be anywhere and I am not responsible for anyone other than myself, except my dog. And he’s cool with it.

How damn freeing is that? Its like writing an article and seeing how many fucking curse words you can insert. Talk about  a ‘riding on the back of bike with the wind going up your nether regions’ type of freedom. So tonight I ride. I will wear my sunglasses at night, I will hang unlit cigarettes from my mouth. I will wear ridiculously red lipstick and look deliciously bored. Oh and wear tight pants. I can’t forget the pants …  Suck that teenage me.

For your listening pleasure:

Bad Religion, Fuck You